A Cult Dictionary of Mind Control, and the Language of Abuse
Cultism has a long history here in the United States — but what is a cult, exactly? One could argue the Confederacy was a kind of cult, and the KKK after it. America gave rise to cult leaders Charles Manson, Jim Jones, David Koresh, and Sun Myung Moon, among many many others who led cults big and small (Charles Koch, perhaps?! Certainly Donald Trump.).
Christianity itself was considered a cult by some during its humble beginnings after the turn of the millennia and then some. It’s no accident that religious revivalism and many types of faith fervor colored the nation for decades and centuries. It’s the blind worship of a singular ideology or individual, in the case of a cult of personality, that is often the signature trait of both cult leaders and cult followers, who will do anything they’re told — even unto the grave.
Some might call the patriarchal nuclear family the Original Cult. Many if not most Evangelical sects revere it, among numerous others who believe in God the Father quite literally. Others still seek to exploit that zeal, by offering up a series of “flawed saviors” who dangled the prospect of a more theocratic state governed by Law and Order. Their money buys them much more than just the puppets who rule, and the citizens struggle to pierce the veils of illusion.
Mind control and emotional manipulation
Known by many names, from mind control to brainwashing to undue influence techniques, the use of methods to knowingly manipulate a target’s sense of reality is a devious and unethical way to achieve one’s aims with increased plausible deniability. Having obedient servants do your dirty work, bury your secrets, and protect your property perhaps is an archetypal dream of an America gone by… or current.
From schoolyard bullies and repressive religious upbringing to sexual predators and organized crime, the toolkit is eerily similar — it makes you wonder if they all get pamphlets in the mail from Head Evil, or if they instinctually all arrive at these methods on their own. Their goal is to get inside your head, destabilize you and keep you off balance, and gain some sort of advantage over you both currently and in ensuing negotiations, conflicts, or other events.
Today we are seeing it on a large scale in the digital domain, from Facebook radicalization and QAnon to right-wing backchannels and encrypted messaging. We had better get familiar with the lexicon and vocabulary of the coming era, so we can fight the creeping scourge of thought control roiling the land.
Chances are you’ve had an encounter with an emotional predator — whether you’re aware of it or not. Most everyone is familiar with the physical abuser: typically the man who beats his wife or female partner. But emotional abuse, and psychological abuse, are also integral components of abuse and are often present with, and precursors to, intimate partner physical violence.
Often individuals who abuse others have a personality disorder that increases their chances of becoming an abuser. Many of these personality disorders have narcissism at their roots — a psychological defense mechanism in which an individual harbors grandiose fantasies about themselves and feels selfishly entitled to having all their demands met.
Narcissists require a constant stream of admiration, or “narcissistic supply,” coming their way. They achieve this through charm, emotional and psychological manipulation, and all sorts of shady, unethical, or downright illegal tactics and behaviors. When a narcissist wants something from you, or wants you to do something, he can become a devious emotional predator who takes advantage of your good will for his own ends without thinking twice.
How to identify an emotional predator
One way to protect yourself from emotional predators is to understand how they behave, and become familiar with how to detect manipulative and deceptive behavior as early on as possible. If you see any of the warning signs below in a loved one, coworker, community member, or position of leadership, then use caution in dealings with this individual. Seek external advice and assistance in threat assessment before placing further trust in this person.
Emotional predation can take place at all levels: interpersonal interactions and intimate partnerships, within groups and organizations, as well as at much larger scales on the order of societies, nations, and — increasingly — global networks. If you feel something “off” in an interaction that feels loaded with emotional pressure, stop for a moment and do some critical thinking about whether someone is trying to prey on your emotions, and how to respond.
Emotional predators are often found leading cults (both small and large), so take a look at those who surround them and ask if they seem like mindless followers in thrall to the cult of personality of one individual. Assess whether you and/or others who interact with the psychic vampire experience the following phenomena:
Manipulating your emotions; emotional blackmail— A form of manipulation where someone uses your feelings against you to get what they want. It often involves guilt-tripping, fear, and obligation, making you feel trapped in a cycle of compliance.
Love bombing — Used to secure your loyalty in the first place, love bombing is a technique in which the emotional predator showers you with affection, admiration, and gifts in the early stages of your relationship. Their goal is to create a strong attachment quickly, that will make it harder for you to see and recognize their darker traits coming out later on.
Negging; undermining confidence and self-esteem— Negging is a tactic where someone offers backhanded compliments or subtle insults to undermine your self-esteem. The goal is to make you feel vulnerable, so you seek their approval.
Creating unnecessary chaos — Some individuals thrive on creating chaos to divert attention from their actions or to keep others off-balance. It’s a control tactic that leaves you feeling disoriented.
Consistent inconsistency; intermittent reinforcement — This involves unpredictable behavior, where positive reinforcement is given sporadically. It keeps you guessing and hooked, as you never know when the next “reward” will come; as in gambling, e.g.
Grandiosity — An inflated sense of self-importance and superiority over others. It’s often a mask for deep-seated insecurities.
One-way street — In a one-way relationship, one person’s needs and wants are prioritized over the other’s. It’s a dynamic that leaves one feeling drained and unappreciated.
Masters of deceptive and misleading stories — Some individuals are adept at crafting narratives that bend the truth, often to serve their own interests or manipulate others.
Love to play victim and hero — These individuals portray themselves as both the victim and the hero in different narratives, manipulating emotions to gain sympathy or admiration.
Diverting attention — Diversion tactics are used to shift focus away from the individual’s actions, often by blaming others or creating new issues.
Disregarding the law — Some people view laws as mere suggestions, often rationalizing illegal actions for personal gain or out of a sense of entitlement. The so-called Sovereign Citizens movement essentially codified this as an ideology the group believes in, and tries to use as legal argument in court (failing each time).
Denying plain facts; denialism — Denialism involves refusing to accept proven facts, often to protect one’s ego or agenda.
Assert the opposite of reality — This tactic involves making claims that are directly contradicted by observable facts, creating a confusing and disorienting environment.
Magical thinking — Magical thinking is the belief that one’s thoughts or actions can influence unrelated events. It’s often a way to avoid responsibility.
Projection — Assigning their own feelings or imputing their own motives into you. Projection involves attributing one’s own undesirable feelings or motives to another person, often as a defense mechanism.
See the world as with them or against them (splitting) — Splitting is a cognitive distortion where people are categorized as all good or all bad, with no middle ground or nuance.
Nurturing and maintaining enemies (paranoia) — Some individuals maintain a sense of purpose or identity by creating and nurturing perceived enemies, often based on exaggerated or imagined threats.
Moves the goalposts — Changing the criteria for success or approval, making it difficult for others to meet expectations.
Refuses to take responsibility or admit fault — Some folks deflect blame and never admit fault, often rationalizing their actions to avoid accountability.
Gaslighting — causing you to question your own sanity. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where someone tries to make you doubt your own perceptions and sanity.
Bullying — Bullying involves repeated, intentional harm or intimidation, often to assert control or superiority over someone else.
Frequent liar / compulsive liar — Some individuals lie habitually, either to manipulate others or sometimes without any apparent reason.
Aggressive and easily angered — These individuals have low tolerance for frustration and may resort to aggression or anger to assert control or mask insecurities.
Arm yourself with as much information as you can about emotional predators and the tactics of undue influence techniques they use, as well as the real world history of cults and their consequences — and how to get people out of them via deprogramming techniques. Here’s a cults and mind control book list to get you started:
Defense mechanisms are a set of unconscious psychological processes that help individuals cope with stressful or anxiety-provoking situations. A defense mechanism protects the individual’s mental well-being by reducing or avoiding feelings of anxiety, guilt, or other forms of psychological distress. Defense mechanisms operate on an unconscious level, meaning that the individual is not aware of using them to cope.
Defense mechanisms can be adaptive or maladaptive, depending on the situation and the individual’s coping strategies. Adaptive defense mechanisms allow individuals to manage stress and anxiety in a healthy way, while maladaptive defense mechanisms can lead to problems with emotional regulation and social functioning.
Defense mechanism examples
Some commonly familiar examples of defense mechanisms in everyday life that can be positive (i.e. adaptive) include:
Humor: Using humor to diffuse a stressful situation can be a healthy way to cope, as it can help individuals see the situation in a more positive light.
Sublimation: Channeling negative emotions into constructive or creative outlets, such as art or sports, can be a beneficial way to cope with stress.
Altruism: Helping others can be an adaptive defense mechanism, as it can give individuals a sense of purpose and reduce their own feelings of anxiety as well as those of others they help.
Suppression: Deliberately putting aside troubling emotions or thoughts for a period of time can be a healthy way to cope with stressful situations.
In contrast, maladaptive defense mechanisms are not generally mentally healthy, and can lead to serious psychological problems, especially when overused. Some key examples of maladaptive defense mechanisms include:
Denial: Refusing to acknowledge a problem or a difficult situation can prevent individuals from taking appropriate action to address the issue. Denying the existence of a problem does nothing to change the reality of its existence.
Projection: Blaming others for one’s own negative feelings or behaviors can prevent individuals from taking responsibility for their own actions. Projection also creates or exacerbates conflict with others socially, which can introduce new problems to the existing difficulties of managing one’s negative emotions.
Repression: Pushing negative thoughts or memories into the unconscious can lead to feelings of anxiety or depression, as individuals are unable to process and address their feelings. Over time, repression can create enormous psychological distance between oneself and one’s own emotions, which can act as an existential kind of alienation from oneself.
Regression: Reverting to childlike behavior or emotional states can prevent individuals from effectively coping with stressful situations. We’ve all wanted to run and hide in the face of life’s challenges from time to time — but when people choose to actually do so, it usually exacerbates and compounds the existing problems they are unable or unwilling to face.
Defense mechanism vs. Coping strategies
One thing to note is that defense mechanisms are not the same as coping strategies. Coping strategies are conscious, intentional efforts to manage stress and anxiety, while defense mechanisms operate on an unconscious level. While some coping strategies may overlap with adaptive defense mechanisms, the two concepts are distinct.
Defense mechanisms are often used to protect the individual’s self-esteem and sense of well-being. They can be useful in certain situations, such as during times of acute stress or trauma. However, over-reliance on defense mechanisms can lead to problems with managing emotions and functioning in social settings. People who consistently use unhealthy defense mechanisms may benefit from therapy or other forms of treatment to help them develop healthier coping strategies.
Therapists and mental health professionals may use techniques such as psychoanalysis or cognitive-behavioral therapy to help individuals identify and address their defense mechanisms. By becoming more aware of these unconscious processes, individuals can develop healthier coping strategies and improve their ability to manage emotions and participate fully in social life.
