Why don't those Africans just take this goddamn random rich guy's unsubstantiated advice about how to fix their dam

So, this happened:



And it really warrants reading the original piece -- it's short, probably Medium would say a "4-minute read," if you can spare it by outsourcing some mundane task to a poor person to free it up, of course.

One of Africa’s Biggest Dams Is Falling Apart

Talk about Missing the Goddamn (Dam) Point. In so many ways, not least of all the OUTRIGHT DEMAND that engineers everywhere leap to answer his noble call -- presumably *real* engineers who have experience with this sort of thing, and not this poor African fellow Munyaradzi Munodawafa, the chief executive of the Zambezi River Authority, who clearly doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about despite presumably having trained for this job and worked at it in some capacity throughout his career in order to rise to the management status of this dam. Since they're already 5 years into the plan of fixing the thing, I am going to go out on an enormously rickety limb and imagine that he has probably devoted more significant amounts of time to thinking about this problem than you have, reading the New Yorker over breakfast.

I literally just tweeted this the other day:


This bullshit #TweetConcern is the EPITOME OF NOT HELPING. Grow a fucking pair and fly to Zambia to lend a hand if you're so concerned about the saving the lives of its people who would otherwise die in the resulting flood.

STOP HELPING!
BECAUSE NO ONE IS ASKING YOU TO & YOU CANNOT MINT YOURSELF A HERO BY TRYING TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT, HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD IN A DOMAIN YOU HAVE NO EXPERTISE IN.

What are you gonna do, start a fucking Kickstarter?!?! I highly doubt it. Don't you have some tirelessly treadmilling low-paid (or no-paid) wannabe startup success interns to order about or something?!?

Go read this instead.

And because I happen to know you personally I'm gonna go ahead and give you the benefit of the doubt that of course you're not actually talking about protecting the interests of the nth wave of international conglomerate douchebags who are literally taking money out of the ground by virtually enslaving the population to mine copper under dangerous and reprehensible conditions.

Of course not. That would be barbaric.